so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Houston, we have a blender
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
