i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
