He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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