summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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