your room smells of hookers.
And success
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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