please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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