I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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