yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
