Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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