Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
