How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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