scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
