my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
