we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
