I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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