The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
