I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
