Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
