You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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