There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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