Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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