Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
