Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I am one with the molecules
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
