I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
false alarm. still invincible.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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