I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
