Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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