I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
