So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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