My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Well I just put wine in my tea
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize