Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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