that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
