so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
