You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
