The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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