Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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