If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
