I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
