Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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