Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
