Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Randomize
