smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
