I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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