I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
