Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
