I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
