I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
