is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
