even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think your dad took our porno
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
