he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
