I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
