guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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