Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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