Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
