This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
