Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
