I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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