were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
