I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
