hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize