Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
They took my balls.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
