you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
