Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Randomize
